My Grand Adventure

The path to insanity....
Step 1: Visit Essel World on a Saturday when you would rather be sleeping at home.
Step 2: Dare to go on Thunder....the ride that renders you upside down. And while you are trying hard to defy gravity by holding yourself up...you realise this is it. This is the end of life as you know it.
Step 3: You then panic and start screaming "mummmyyyyy" 1000 X 1000 times. And while your holding on to the thread of your life and screaming for your mother, you suddenly feel guilty about missing your mom and not your kids. Especially when they run the risk of soon being orphaned.
Step 4: You then decide to screw the guilt and go back to screaming "mummmyyyyy" 1000 X 1000 times. When suddenly you start warning people around that you are gonna throw up. After warning them atleast 5 times....embarassingly enough you actually throw up. Not on others but on yourself....which is even worse!!
Step 5: You then step out of the ride and have water hosed down on you....which obviously is not as sensous as it looks in movies.
Step 6: You sit in the sun, waiting to dry your clothes and refuse to step on anything remotely kinetic.
Step 7: As if step 1 to step 6 were not enough, you then get tempted into trying ice skating. And after slipping on your bum like a zillion times, when you finally manage to reach the exit of the ice rink, you realise you have no feeling left in your hands, lips, nose and your brain. You then thank god for helping you nearly freeze to death and ask mere mortals to help you.
Step 8: and when you finally walk out of Essel World, you can't help but wonder...what a grand adventure. And Ram Morrison you missed it.

Why does my heart feel so sad?

What would you do when your home is not a beautiful villa, picket fence, a lovely garden and everything that makes 4 walls a home? What if your home is someone, a person who makes you feel like you belong, belong right there no matter where it is and how it is. And when you know that anything you ever do and anywhere you ever be, you will miss home. It will feel like a hole in your heart forever, like a weight on your soul, a knowledge that you don't belong. Even if it is in the beautiful villa with a picket fence. And that is when you heart will feel so fucking bad that it threaten to tear from inside out....and a scream of anguish pushes against your throat waiting to come out...... sorrow so deep and black knowing that you will never be home. And it's the picket fence that will be your cage...forever.

Para....para....paradise

When I was 4 i believed with all my heart that the next holiday, a barbie doll, playing all day long with my cousins would give me paradise.
When I was 7, I believed a little extremely naughty brother (trust me I got one) would give me paradise.
When I was 13 being the girl with maximum roses would be paradise.
When I was 19, I believed a kickass job and cool steady boy friend would be paradise.
When I was 25 marrying an awesome guy and travelling the world would be paradise.

At 30 I look back, and realise I did everything, I had everything.......and I still haven't found paradise.
Aren't you the elusive one paradise?
I am not sure anymore what should I dream next to achieve paradise. Do I still want paradise...........or maybe not? Maybe I want peace, peace of mind, a peaceful heart, a pure smile not corrupted by bittersweet wisdom.

again listening to "drops of jupiter".....

reminds me of everything beautiful, worthwhile, memorable and treasured.
Oh so much happened this year....so much. 2012 started with.....
1. Dives in the kiddie swimming pool....with the love of my life. The ferocious cuddly duddly lion king.
2. Being back stabbed.....again(phew!! by now i should have evolved and grown eyes on my back like a housefly)
3. Kerela ayurveda massage....sweet pain pleasure like punishment (ah i almost manage to sound dirrrtttyy)
4. Loosing close to 25k to Vodafone.....internet usage on my "smart phone"....more like "smartass phone"
5. Met someone with 167 IQ, and the backbone of a centipede.....but totally fell in love. Result: "alone again....naturally!!"
6. Realized that puppy love, though never dies.......however, evolves into a beautiful spiritual connection
7. Scored....yipppeee
8. finally mastered the art of one person playing good cop/bad cop in one go. Largely done by observing my mum...
9. Rootcanaled my 4 yr old.....4 years. Simba turned 4. 4. 4.....damn no matter how many times i repeat it. still sounds strange.
10. Ok yeah my 4 year old got a root canal by cutest periodontist evaahhhh....

So yes, the beginning has been quite eventful....still reeling under my new adventures. Wonder what more is coming my way???!!!!