The path to insanity....
Step 1: Visit Essel World on a Saturday when you would rather be sleeping at home.
Step 2: Dare to go on Thunder....the ride that renders you upside down. And while you are trying hard to defy gravity by holding yourself up...you realise this is it. This is the end of life as you know it.
Step 3: You then panic and start screaming "mummmyyyyy" 1000 X 1000 times. And while your holding on to the thread of your life and screaming for your mother, you suddenly feel guilty about missing your mom and not your kids. Especially when they run the risk of soon being orphaned.
Step 4: You then decide to screw the guilt and go back to screaming "mummmyyyyy" 1000 X 1000 times. When suddenly you start warning people around that you are gonna throw up. After warning them atleast 5 times....embarassingly enough you actually throw up. Not on others but on yourself....which is even worse!!
Step 5: You then step out of the ride and have water hosed down on you....which obviously is not as sensous as it looks in movies.
Step 6: You sit in the sun, waiting to dry your clothes and refuse to step on anything remotely kinetic.
Step 7: As if step 1 to step 6 were not enough, you then get tempted into trying ice skating. And after slipping on your bum like a zillion times, when you finally manage to reach the exit of the ice rink, you realise you have no feeling left in your hands, lips, nose and your brain. You then thank god for helping you nearly freeze to death and ask mere mortals to help you.
Step 8: and when you finally walk out of Essel World, you can't help but wonder...what a grand adventure. And Ram Morrison you missed it.
